“As a young adult, I never want to face the inevitable. I have a life to look forward to – goals to accomplish, success to achieve – and I want nothing to stand in the way of that. Unfortunately, reality makes its’ presence known in unfortunate ways.

I recently lost a friend in a car crash – it was unexpected and tragic – nothing forewarned us of his death and as a teenager, it was very difficult to deal with.  Mortality is something that I believe a lot of young people work hard to forget about. We want to live in the moment and enjoy what life gives us but we want nothing to do with “consequences” – and certainly a consequence as permanent as death.

Now, in the wake of the crash, before I get in my friend’s car to go to school, my parents always remind me to be safe – their worst fear is that something terrible would become of me. This is something that is completely out of their hands. That’s what scares them – the inability to protect me from something that isn’t tangible. Parents focus their attention on guiding their children but what happens to the children when their parents aren’t there to guide them anymore?

As and older sister, I feel I have a responsibility to take care of my sister; especially since there’s an age gap between us of eleven years! If my parents weren’t here anymore to raise us, who would? Would I be forced to skip college and take care of my sister? How would I even afford all of this? A job – especially one without a degree – would hardly cover the costs of things that many take for granted: education, medical bills, electricity, rent… and the list goes on. Forcing me to grow up at seventeen would cut my youth short – my social life would go down the drain, I’d have to develop a sense of responsibility not only for myself but for my sister, I’d have to provide for our needs, and what would happen to my prospects of marriage? How could I even consider getting married when I already had my own “child” to take care of? It would be at least eleven more years of raising my sister before I could go to school myself or think of my own personal life without denying my sister of the attention she needs.

Is this fair? No. This is why my parents have taken measures to ensure that my sister and I would be taken care of if something were to happen. Don’t leave your children to figure out their own lives before they’re ready. The idea of raising a six year old at seventeen is not what I picture for my life and I know it isn’t what many others picture for theirs, either. I love my sister and I would do anything for her.  But is sacrificing my youth a worthy consequence of not making adequate arrangements?”  By Emily G., Cutherbertson High School Senior.

Maybe it is time to have an open discussion with your children.  If you need a way to approach the Family Conversation, call our office at (704) 843-1446 and we can help you through the process.

When my clients have completed their estate planning with me, they are provided a simple form that they keep with their Estate Planning documents.  It is meant to keep track of all passwords and usernames. At our firm we try to cover all the bases!!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124796142202862461.html